How I changed tantrums at home with my toddlers?
Parenting a toddler or preschooler can sometimes feel like a never-ending battle. They can throw tantrum for little things. Parents are constantly in a cycle of triggering them if they don't understand why kids are acting out.
👉 You ask them to clean up, and they refuse.
👉 You’re rushing out the door, but they’re still brushing their teeth at snail speed.
👉 You’re late for work, but your child takes forever to finish breakfast.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. Many parents wonder how to handle toddler tantrums when daily routines turn into constant power struggles.
I’ve been there too. At first, I believed setting high goals would help my child become independent, focused, and disciplined. Instead, it led to frustration, meltdowns, and sleepless nights.
But everything changed when I realized the problem wasn’t my child—it was my expectations.
Why High Expectations Trigger Tantrums in Toddlers/Preschoolers
Most tantrums aren’t random “bad behavior.” They’re a child’s way of communicating. In my journey as a mom and Right Brain Educator, I discovered that children act out for three main reasons:
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They want attention.
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They want to escape something hard.
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They are seeking sensory input.
When our expectations are too high for their developmental stage, toddlers feel overwhelmed. That’s when tantrums kick in.
How I Changed My Approach to Deal with Tantrums in Baby
I stopped setting big, overwhelming goals and started breaking tasks into small, achievable steps.
Examples:
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Instead of “Put away all your toys,” I ask, “I can see it is too much for you to clean up. Do you need mommy help? Can you hand me the red block?”
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Instead of “Hang up your coat,” I say, “Why don't you take off your coat and hand it to me?”
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Instead of “Finish the whole puzzle,” I suggest, “Let’s put them together. I will finish all and save you 1 last piece to put , okay?”
This simple shift removed unnecessary battles and helped my child feel successful.
Tantrum Solutions for Parents
Even with realistic expectations, tantrums will still happen. The key is how we respond. Here are strategies that worked for me and the families I support:
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Lower demands before meltdowns: If cleaning the whole room causes stress, start with cleaning just three toys.
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Use “First, then” structure: “First clean up, then coloring.” It makes rewards clear without removing responsibility. Alternatively, you can use "Yes, coloring [the prize] AFTER cleaning up."
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Stay calm in public tantrums: In the candy aisle, I don’t give in to screaming. I wait for 5 seconds of quiet before rewarding. I am teaching them Kids learn calmness works, tantrums don’t. There is a 5 seconds time-out for them to separate the crying/yelling with the prize or the redirection. This way, they learn that throwing tantrum does not get what they want.
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Keep instructions simple and promptable: Actions like “Wave hi” are easier for toddlers than “Say hi.” Small successes prevent frustration.
This approach teaches self-regulation while avoiding the trap of reinforcing tantrums.
The Results that every parents desire
Since I made these changes, I’ve noticed:
✨ My child is more patient.
✨ Focus and attention span are improving.
✨ Tantrums happen less often and are easier to handle.
✨ Our home feels calmer and happier.
Instead of endless battles, we now share more cooperation and joy.
Final Thoughts
As parents, we want the best for our children. But sometimes, pushing harder only creates more resistance. The secret to how to improve toddler focus and patience is often to lower the bar, build confidence with small wins, and handle tantrums with calm, consistent strategies.
When we stop demanding too much, we give our kids the space to grow at their own pace—and they often surprise us with what they can do.
👉 If you’ve been struggling with toddler tantrums, remember: it’s not about forcing cooperation. It’s about guiding your child with patience, realistic expectations, and steady support.
